Conversation with my older self
by sasha272
Summary: What if your future-self comes back to the present and warns you not to do something, would you listen? Santana is about to find out the future isn't quite as she pictured it, especially with Rachel having such a big part in it…
1. Chapter 1

_**Conversation with my older self**_

Disclaimers: Don't own Glee.

A/N: Set season 5. Kurt, Rachel and Santana are still roommates and there was no feud between them. They rearranged the loft to fit a third room for Santana. Kurt and Rachel stayed in NYADA and Santana is taking some classes as they work at the diner.

I found some unexpected inspiration and before I knew it, I ended up with this. I hope you'll like it...

It's gonna be a 2 chapter story.

* * *

Santana stirred as her alarm rang. She slowly opened her eyes but quickly shut them back as she felt a banging pain in her skull. She moaned as she turned around and hid her head under the pillow. She shouldn't have finished that awful wine with Rachel last night. Sure her friend had cooked an awesome dinner for her after her long day at the diner - not that she asked - and she was grateful for it but damn, Berry had bad taste in booze.

She was about to go back to sleep when Rachel barged in her room. "Good morning, sleepy head! You should get up or you're going to be late for your ballet class!"

"Go away, Berry!" The Latina growled.

The diva frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I have a headache and it's your fault." The tan girl answered, still not moving from under the cover.

"How is it my fault?!" The brunette exclaimed.

"Shhh, not so loud." The raven-haired girl commanded. "You chose the wine remember."

"And I told you not to finish it remember?" Rachel sat on the bed and slowly removed the pillow hiding her friend's face. "You said it would be shame to waste it." She smiled as Santana lamely glared at her.

"I'm still blaming you."

The diva rolled her eyes but chuckled. "You're such a baby. Wait here." She stood up and made her way toward the kitchen.

"Not planning on going anywhere." The Latina mumbled, slowly sitting up on the bed.

5 minutes later, Rachel was back with a glass of water and some pain killers. "Here, drink that." She brushed some hair away from Santana's face before handing the glass to her. "I'm going to make you some toast and coffee. You have to eat."

"Thanks." Santana said sleepily. "I'm gonna shower first."

"Okay." The brunette took the glass back. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." She smiled kindly before leaving the room.

* * *

Not long after, Santana was in the shower, getting ready for her class. She could hear Rachel singing in the kitchen and rolled her eyes. "God, I'm trying to get rid of this headache but of course she has to be all Elphaba-ish this early in the morning." She stopped the water and opened the shower curtain. She screamed when she saw a woman who looked just like her but slightly older, standing in front of her.

"It's 10AM!" The woman snorted. "I wouldn't call it early."

Santana stared opened mouth until she heard Rachel knock on the door.

"San? Santana, are you okay? What's wrong?" The diva asked worried.

The woman put her finger in front of her mouth to signal her to stay quiet. Santana frowned and opened her mouth to say something but the woman answered before her. "I'm fine, the water turned cold."

Santana looked wide eyed as the woman's voice sounded just like hers.

"Okay, sorry. I'm leaving for class, see you tonight." The diva announced before leaving the loft.

"Who the fuck are you?" Santana grabbed a towel and wrapped herself in it. She stepped out of the shower and stood in front of the woman.

"I'm you from the future, isn't it obvious?" Her older self answered. "God, I thought my younger self was smarter than that."

"No shit, Sherlock." Santana grabbed her underwear and put it on. "I can see that but what, hum, what kind of thing are you, and why are you here, in my bathroom?" She slipped into her jeans.

"I'm some kind of holographic projection thingy of myself. Britt and her hubby built a machine which allows me to project myself into the past when I'm standing in the loft in the future. I'm not really sure how it works but it doesn't matter." Her future self answered dismissively. "What matters is that I'm here to give you some advice."

"Britt and what? Who?" Santana stared at her older self who seemed annoyed so she continued. "You expect me to believe you? I mean, give me advice on what exactly? How to dress better when I'm 35? Is that what you call fashion in the future because you really need to get your eyes checked."

"Bitch I'm 30, thank you very much and shut it, I'm not here to talk about my fashion sense which is awesome by the way. That's haute couture!" Future her glared. "And I look just like you, it would be hard not to believe me."

Santana reached out but instead of touching the woman's arm, her hand went through it. She blinked a few times, staring at her hand before looking at the woman again. "I need to be sure, tell me something only I know. "

The Santana from the future took a minute to think and chuckled. "In 8th grade you masturbated a few times while thinking about your math teacher, Mrs Higgins. After that you were never able to make eye contact with her and since you felt guilty, you started dating this loser James, even though it lasted a week."

"Oh god, I didn't need to remember that…" Santana made a face and sighed. "Fine, let's say I believe you. What is it about my future then?" She crossed her arms sceptically. "You want to tell me I should stop working at the diner and start working on my dream or I'll end up wearing clothes from Target? Thank you but I'm already working on it, you could have saved yourself a trip."

"Dios mio," Her older self growled. "If it wasn't impacting me too I would leave you to your fate just because you're more obnoxious than I am."

Santana raised her eyebrow. "I thought I was you?"

"Well it looks like life tamed me a bit."

Santana snorted as she put on her shirt. "Wuss…"

"Oh my god, shut up and listen." Future her took a deep breath before continuing. "I'm here because of Rachel."

"I thought you were here for me, what does it has to do with her? Did something happen to her?" The younger Santana asked confused.

"She will meet someone soon and you'll regret not taking a chance on her forever." Her future self explained.

Santana looked at her before laughing uncontrollably. "Okay…" She took a deep breath to try to calm down. "You almost got me…" She opened the door and walked toward the living room. "Come out of your hiding place, hobbit, you got me. Ah ah ah, that was hilarious, now stop."

The older Santana followed her. "There is no one here. This is serious."

Santana opened the curtain of Rachel's room then Kurt's but she couldn't find her. "Come on, the prank's over Berry, where are you?" She searched around for some light or any device that could explain her 'older self's presence' but she couldn't find anything.

"Listen, I don't know how long I can stay so you need to listen to me." Future her insisted. "I…"

"No you listen, I don't know what's going on but Rachel's straight." Santana cut her off. "We're just friends and I'm pretty sure I'll end with Britt and Berry will crawl back to Finnocence eventually."

"And it's because you stuck to that idea that I'm here today."

Santana plopped herself on the couch and started massaging her temple. "I'm confused…"

The older Santana sighed. "You're going to pursue her but when she reciprocates, you'll get scared and leave."

"I don't get it." Santana stared at the ceiling. "Isn't she going to meet someone?"

"Yes and that's the start of everything. When Rachel is getting ready for her third date, you're going to get jealous and realise you like her more than just a friend. You'll fight that night and Rachel will realise she wants you too. You'll want to take it slow just to be sure because you don't want to get hurt but it will just do the opposite. Later, when she asks you to take a step forward, you're gonna freak out and that's when things will go downhill. You'll go back to your old habits of pushing people away and then you'll leave. You'll go back to the safety of Brittany, you'll ask her to marry you soon after getting back together. You'll divorce a year later because you'll realise your heart is with someone else." Her future self smiled sadly, her eyes misty. "You're still friends with Britt as you might have guessed but Rachel and you have never recovered. She went back to Finn because when you left, you just confirmed the thought he had put in her head that no one would ever love her like him. They are still engaged but she's busy with her career in New York and he's a small town boy who prefers living in Lima. After that you…"

"Am I on drugs?" Santana interrupted her. She pinched herself before closing her eyes. "I didn't smoke anything and the alcohol wore off since last night… Maybe it's the pills I took for my headache. That must be it, I must be hallucinating." She mused. "That would explain why I can't touch you, you're in my head." She opened her eyes and looked at the projection of herself. "But why would I come up with this? I've been spending too much time with Berry, that must be it."

The older Santana face palmed. "Do you hear yourself? God, you sound so dumb."

"Not as dumb as what I heard so far." Santana snapped. "I mean we're talking about Rachel here, high maintenance, obnoxious, loud Broadway diva Rachel Barbra Berry. We're friends and I even struggle with that sometimes when she's all hyper so I'm far from wanting to get my mack on with her."

"And yet to this day, she's the biggest regret of your life." Future her cleared her throat as if she wanted to hide her emotions. "You found success and you got what you wanted but you're still alone. She was the best thing that happened to you so you keep wondering what would have happened if you'd stay; if you hadn't let her go..."

"Then why are you here?" Santana exclaimed frustrated. "Go talk to your Rachel in whatever future/parallel universe you're coming from and fix your shit. Just leave me out of this craziness."

"I would if I could but it's not that simple, the damage is done." The older Santana answered sorrowfully. "And you should be aware that I'm already taking risks by telling you all that, it could change our future."

"Then let it go." Santana stood up. "Why are you doing this if it could mess everything up?"

"Because all this success is dull without Rachel by my side." Her future self confessed. "And I'm here because I should have realised it sooner. This is our chance to fix it."

Santana made a face. "God, the future really turned me into a wuss, that's gross."

"Oh please," The older Santana scoffed. "You've always been cheesy and romantic inside, you just hide it more than I bother to do nowadays."

Santana shook her head and started gathering her things. "So what? You woke up this morning and thought, 'what if I was projecting myself or whatever you want to call it in the past and warned my younger self so I can get laid and be happy in the future?'"

"That's not…" Future her stopped talking when she realised what her younger self was doing. "Where are you going?"

"I have class and I'm already late." Santana stated.

"You can't go, I'm not done." Her future self frowned.

"Well I am." Santana threw her bag on the couch and focused on her older self. "I'm not in love with Berry, okay? And right now, I feel like I don't even have a word to say in it just because a guru from the future shows up and tells me I'm supposed to date Rachel."

"I'm you, I know you've had the hots for Rachel for a while now but you pushed it down so deep that you think it'll disappear if you ignore it. Well news flash, it won't." The older Santana snapped. "I'm not here to force things, just to accelerate the pace and warn you not to fuck things up."

"Whatever, I don't care." Santana grabbed her bag and walked toward the door. "Rachel is just a friend and I know Britt will come back to me once she's done with her clown of a boyfriend."

"You're wrong." Future her replied.

"And you can go back to where you come from." Santana slammed the door behind her without looking back.

The older Santana sighed. "Maybe Quinn was right, I should have sent her to smack some sense into younger me. God, I was such a bitch back then." She smirked. "But I'm still one and I'm so not done with her."

* * *

The week that followed was uneventful, so much so that Santana was sure she had imagined the whole thing.

The Latina was in a good mood that morning and after a nice breakfast with Rachel, she decided to take a shower. She was almost done rinsing her body when she heard a voice.

"So how is it going?"

Santana jumped in surprise and snapped the curtain open to see her future self. "What the hell? I thought we were done!"

"Have you met me?" Future her chuckled. "Of course you have, you should know I don't give up that easily."

"I don't care, I don't want to date Rachel." Santana snapped. "Leave me alone!"

"So you weren't enjoying your time this morning while eating breakfast with her?" Her future self raised her eyebrow.

"Yes but as friends!" Santana cried then frowned as she realised something. "Wait, how do you know that? Are you spying on me?" She grabbed a towel and wrapped herself in it.

"Your memories are my memories, I'm you remember?" The older Santana answered almost condescendingly. "And yeah, I also arrived sooner than I expected so I watched you two from behind the curtain of your room and then I waited for Rachel to leave."

Santana stepped out of the shower and marched toward her bedroom. "Oh my god, I'm crazy."

"You're not, but you will be in a decade if you don't start fighting for what you want now." Future her affirmed as she followed her younger self.

"But I don't want her!" Santana grabbed her clothes and started to get dressed.

Her future self tilted her head to the side. "So you don't find her attractive, and sweet and funny in her own kind of way."

"Of course!" Santana exclaimed faster than she intended. Her older self smirked. "But not like that!" You could find a friend attractive without wanting to be with them. Sure the idea crossed her mind once or twice but it didn't mean anything.

"Yes like that and it's okay." Future her smiled.

"It's not!" Santana glared.

"Santana? Are you okay? Is someone with you?" Rachel suddenly called from the kitchen. "My class was cancelled so I thought I'd come home and watch a movie with you if you'd like but hum… If you have company I can just go to a café…"

Santana's eyes went wide. "Shit, she's here. What do we do now?" She whispered.

"Pretend you're on speaker and then go watch a movie with her. Enjoy your time." The older Santana grinned. "If you're lucky you might get some cuddles like last time."

Santana grabbed her pillow and threw it at her future self even though it went through her. "You suck, how many times do I…"

"San?" Rachel called again, closer this time.

"Yes, I'm here. I'm on the phone, gimme a sec." Santana answered quickly.

"Okay, I'll set up a movie." The diva replied joyfully.

"See? She came home to be with you." Her Future self said with a smirk.

"That doesn't mean anything, now go!" Santana left her room and walked toward the living room.

"Is everything okay?" The brunette asked as she sat on the couch, the remote in hand.

"Yeah, just… an annoying relative, so to speak." Santana stopped walking and looked behind her shoulder. Her older self winked at her. "Anyway, what are we watching?"

Rachel smiled. "Hairspray."

The Latina turned her attention back to the diva and frowned. "Seriously?"

"Come on, please." The diva pouted.

"Fine, whatever…" The tan girl looked toward her room again and her older self was still there with a weird smile on her face. Suddenly, she started to feel uncomfortable and decided to sit on the armchair instead of the couch.

Rachel frowned. "Why aren't you sitting with me, there's enough space?"

"I… huh… don't feel so good, maybe you should stay away just in case I have something." Santana lied.

The brunette frowned deeper. "Do you want something? I can make you some soup or go to the pharmacy."

"No it's okay, let's just enjoy the movie." Santana answered quickly, ignoring the feeling of her future self staring at her.

* * *

Another week went by without an incident and Santana was finally starting to feel comfortable around Rachel again. She had faked a cold all week to have some space but she knew it couldn't last long.

It was their monthly roommates night at the restaurant and Santana was the first to arrive since she was running errands in the neighbourhood. Rachel and Kurt were supposed to join her any minute now. After 5 minutes, Rachel showed up unaccompanied.

Santana frowned. "Where's lady lips?"

"Adam is sick so he stayed with him. There must be a virus going around because he has the same symptoms as you." Rachel explained, leaning to hug her friend before stepping away.

The Latina fake a smile, at least her excuse sounded more convincing now. "So it's just us?" Her hands were suddenly sweaty.

"Yes." The diva sat down and looked at her friend. "Is that a problem?"

"No, not at all…" The raven-haired girl cleared her throat. "Let's order then."

For the next 20 minutes, Santana listened absentmindedly Rachel's tale of her day. She was grateful for the girl's monologue because she could barely focus on the situation.

"Anyway, the highlight of my day was meeting this guy, Jonathan. He's really sweet and kind of cute. He offered to be my partner for our dance project."

"Hmm hmm, yeah." Santana answered as she played distractedly with her food.

"Yes, it's nice to make a new friend." The diva said excitedly.

"Hmmm…" The Latina suddenly stopped moving her fork as she realised what Rachel was talking about. "Wait, what?"

"What?" The brunette asked confused.

"You met a guy?!" A flash of memory from her conversation with her older self came back to Santana's mind. "Is it… possible? I mean…"

"Well thank you, Santana." Rachel replied offended. "I know you find me annoying sometimes but is it so hard to believe some people want to be my friend?"

The Latina frowned. "What? No! I was just thinking about something…"

"You know, Santana," The diva locked eyes with her. "If you have another place you'd rather be, you should have said so and I would have gone home."

"No! No," The tan girl said hastily as she noticed the hurt in the girl's eyes. Fuck, since when did she care? "It's just, it's not you. I have a lot on my mind lately and…."

"You don't owe me anything." The brunette shook her head and laughed bitterly. "You know, I really thought we were good friends. I thought that you came to care for me and I wasn't just your roommate. The past couple months I thought there was something…" She stopped herself as if she suddenly decided not to share what she wanted to say in the first place. "But for 2 weeks now it's like you can't even bear to be in the same room as me and I keep trying to figure out if I did something wrong but I can't come up with anything."

"I told you it's not you, it's me…" Santana insisted. Things were escalating quickly and she didn't know what to do. She didn't think Rachel would realise she was keeping her distance, at least not so fast.

"Then talk to me, I'm your friend." Rachel smiled encouragingly.

"It's no big deal, don't worry." The Latina tried to sound reassuring.

The diva sighed. "I want to believe you but your behaviour hasn't changed with Kurt so I'm really starting to think you have a problem with me."

"It's just in your head…" The tan girl was starting to panic at the turn of the events.

"I can be naïve but I'm not oblivious so, when you're ready to behave like an adult and tell me what's wrong, you know where to find me. Until then, I won't ask you to hang out with me since it makes you feel so uncomfortable." Rachel glanced at her phone and stood up.

Santana frowned. "Where are you going?"

"Kurt texted me and asked if I could bring them soup when I'm done. I think they'll enjoy my company more than you do so I'm just going to go."

Santana watched dumbfounded as Rachel left the restaurant. This was all her future self's fault, everything was going alright until she showed up with her nonsense.

* * *

Later that night, Santana was brushing her teeth. She had calmed down since the restaurant and she kept thinking about her older self's predictions. She looked at the bathroom ceiling and sighed. "Can you hear me?" She shook her head at how silly she sounded. "I don't know how this works but it's not funny, you were right about the guy Rachel would meet and now I'm freaking out! Not because I want Rachel but because you really know the future and I'm not crazy. Anyway, it doesn't matter because I think I screwed this up…"

She moved to the kitchen and checked the time. She guessed Rachel should be home soon. She seemed to hesitate before grabbing a mug and started boiling water. She might not want to date the girl but she didn't want to lose her friendship. She thought that if Rachel found a nice cup of tea when she got home, she'd know that she cared.

* * *

The next few days were tense but after reassuring Kurt that there was nothing wrong between Rachel and her, things slowly went back to normal. At least until Rachel brought her new friend Jonathan home a few times. Santana knew from the start she wasn't a fan of the guy. He was all over the diva and it made her want to barf. The man was ridiculous and she couldn't believe her older self felt threatened by him. On top of it, he was practically the same size as Rachel, it was like watching two hobbits do the rain dance.

Santana woke up first that morning and decided to make breakfast. Since Kurt was at Adam's, it was definitely less work. It wasn't because she felt bad for making Rachel sad, she was just bored and could use the distraction.

Rachel joined her 20 minutes later. "Mhh, it smells good." She grabbed a toast and looked at Santana. "What's the occasion?"

"What do you mean?" Santana pushed the bowl of fruit toward Rachel and grabbed her plate of bacon.

"You never cook breakfast; I'm always the one making it for you…" The diva glanced at her friend and then quickly looked away. She cleared her throat as a faint blush appeared on her cheek. "And Kurt, I mean, for me and you two…"

The Latina looked at her questioningly then shrugged. "Do I need a reason?"

Rachel seemed to study her before answering. "No, I guess not…"

Santana noticed the sadness on the girl's face but it quickly disappeared. "Eat, I promise there's no poison in it."

"Ah ah ah." The brunette deadpanned. She stayed silent for a while then spoke again. "So I'm seeing Jonathan tonight. I thought we could rehearse here but I wanted to ask you first…"

"Again?" The Latina raised her eyebrow. "You saw him every day this week…"

Rachel frowned. "So? We have a dance number to do."

"Yeah, that's not the only thing he wants to do if you ask me." Santana answered sarcastically.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you should stop throwing yourself at the first guy that pays attention to you, it's pathetic." The tan girl snapped despite herself.

The diva gasped before recovering. "Why do you care, anyway?"

"I don't," The raven-haired girl answered. "I just think every time you bring a guy home he's worse than the one before."

"Well at least someone is paying attention to me unlike you." The brunette retorted.

The Latina crossed her arms. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." Rachel shook her head. "I thought we were past this weird animosity you had toward me but I guess I was wrong." She grabbed her cup of tea. "I'm going to rehearse here tonight with Jon, whether you like it or not."

"Good, I won't be here because the last thing I want to see is your pathetic attempt at flirting." Santana snapped.

"Fine!" The diva marched toward her room.

"Fuck…" Santana sighed.

After putting everything away, the Latina decided she really needed a shower.

* * *

Santana turned the water off and grabbed a towel. She stepped out of the shower and approached the sink to check her reflection. She reached out and removed the fog on the mirror when she saw her older self. She shrieked and turned around. "You have to stop that!"

"You're not doing shit to fix the situation!" Future her said angrily.

"What?" Santana looked confused.

"He's gonna ask her on a date soon and what are you doing?" Her future self raised her hand in the air. "You're insulting her!"

"I didn't…"

"You did! I was there to see it." Her future self exclaimed. "You're lucky I can't touch anything because I wanted to throw something at your face so bad!"

"So what?" Santana crossed her arms.

"So you're doing the total opposite of what you're supposed to do." The older Santana pressed. "You're pushing her away when you should be getting closer."

Santana rolled her eyes. "I don't care, this dude is a douche!"

"Your jealousy is showing." Future her smirked.

"I'm not jealous!" Santana cried.

"You are." Her future self insisted.

"I'm fucking done with this." Santana shook her head, this situation was ridiculous. She couldn't believe she was talking to her future self about her so called love for Rachel. "What do you want?"

"Why is it so hard for you to realise your feelings?" The older Santana asked exasperate.

"Because I don't have feelings!"

Future her sighed. "You want to know how today went for me? Rachel was the one making me breakfast and instead of asking me if she could invite Jo fuck face over, she told me she was taking a break from rehearsing so we could have a movie night." She ran her hand through her hair. "You're already changing the future with your actions and not in a good way. You don't get it. You won't prevent it no matter what; you're just delaying the inevitable."

"Then do it, take over if you're so in love!" Santana threw her hands up in desperation.

"That's not how it works."

Santana growled and sat on the edge of the bathtub. "I still don't get why you can't do it in your time."

"Because I was a cunt!" The older Santana exclaimed exasperated.

"Wow…" Santana looked surprised by the outburst.

"I told her the most awful things I could come up with and then I left. I played dead for 6 months after that, ignoring her calls, her texts, her letters. And then I told Britt to call her and give her the news about our wedding. Brittany didn't know what happened between us back then so she wanted to invite her. I let Rachel think she was just a distraction until I was back with Britt…"

"Break ups can be ugly; it doesn't mean you're the devil." Santana tried to be supportive.

Her future self shook her head. "Brittany called her just before she had her call back for a role. Rachel couldn't focus after that and she fell during her dance number."

"What? Was she okay?" The more Santana knew, the more she was confused.

"She hurt her foot that day. I didn't know she had an audition but I'm still responsible. I thought that if I pushed her away hard enough, my feelings would disappear…" Future Santana took a shaky breathe. "Rachel never fully recovered and that's my fault."

Santana frowned. "But I thought she had her career."

"She does but she can't dance as much as she wants to which means she has to take other parts in plays. Broadway was her dream and…" Future her stopped herself as if she was holding back tears.

Santana stared at her older self sadly. It was weird to see herself so broken and at the same time, she didn't know what to do to help. "It's not like you pushed her or anything, she fell, it happens."

"I was hurting. I knew I was making a mistake and somehow I wanted her to hurt too for what she made me feel. She never came to the wedding and every time I tried to contact her after my divorce, she ignored me." She paused as if she was reliving it all in her mind. "Anyway, I saw her at a party last year, and she looked amazing, I thought, let's try to talk, maybe it's water under the bridge. You know Rachel, she's pretty forgiving."

"I'm guessing it didn't go well if you're here." Santana stood up from the bathtub.

"No." Her older self chuckled bitterly. "She said from the moment she met me, I had made her life a living hell. She couldn't believe she had feelings for me at some point, that it made her sick and that if I was unhappy now, it was just Karma."

"Damn," Santana exclaimed. "Berry always had a talent for repartee but she stepped up her game with the years."

"Yeah, I love that about her. She knows how to call me out on my shit and hold her ground." Her future self smiled.

"How did you end up coming back in time?" Santana applied some cream to her face and body as she listened.

"I got drunk, which wasn't new. I was drunk practically every night for the past 5 years. But after our encounter, I was a mess. I don't know how it happened but I ended up at Quinn's place in the middle of the night."

"We're still friends?" Santana questioned, happily surprised.

"Of course, you got closer with the years." The older Santana assured. "Anyway, she asked me what was wrong and that was when I came clean about everything. She offered her help and a year later she was showing me Britt's device and here I am…"

"Man… I don't know what to say."

"I can't keep showing up all the time because it looks like the more I tell you to do something, the more you do the opposite but..." Her future self stepped in front of her. "God… I'm you, so if I'm right here, almost begging you to believe me, it means shit's real. So please, take the time to think about your feelings and your relationship with Rachel since you moved in. Just spend time with her without wondering if it's too couple-ish."

"But she can be so annoying!" Santana whined.

A knock on the door interrupted them. "Santana, who are you talking to?" Rachel asked. "Are you on the phone again? Can you at least wait to be out of the bathroom to complain about me so I can shower? Like it or not the bathroom is an area we have to share."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Santana shouted exasperated. She turned toward her future self and whispered. "I hope she didn't hear us. Now go, disappear, fly away, whatever."

"I'm leaving but please, think about what I said."

Santana rolled her eyes before moving toward the door and opening it. "What? I was done, can't you just wait two minutes or did your annoying behaviour make you constipated?"

Rachel glared at her. "I don't know what I've done to deserve such hostile behaviour from you but I'm tired of it." She pulled Santana out of the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.

Santana sighed. She needed to get out of the apartment for a couple days to clear her head and figure out what was happening.

* * *

The next day, after another fight with Rachel about how she should stop leaving her stuff lying around, Santana decided to pack her suitcase for the weekend and go visit Quinn.

She was at the grocery store, looking for a nice bottle of wine she could enjoy with her blonde friend when she received a call from Kurt. She answered. "What?"

"Well, hello to you too, Satan!" Kurt replied.

The Latina sighed. "I'm not in the mood, lady lips, what do you want?"

"Did you fail to inform me you were moving out?" The boy asked.

The tan girl frowned in confusion. "What?"

"Rachel called me in panic because she saw your suitcase and some boxes ready and since she said you two had a fight, I'm asking you if you were planning on moving out without telling us? I mean, I'm your friend, you could have given me the heads up…" Kurt explained.

"I'm not moving out, what are you talking about?" Santana insisted. "The boxes are there because Berry threw a tantrum about my stuff scattered all around the living room and since I'm going to Quinn's this weekend, I gathered everything up to keep her away from my shit."

"Oh…"

"Yes, oh. So if you guys are done with the unnecessary drama, maybe I could go back to my day." The Latina snapped.

"Yeah…." Kurt sighed. "Listen, I don't know what's wrong with you two lately but you need to fix this, I'm tired of all this bad energy in the loft."

"Why should I be the one fixing it?" Santana grabbed a bottle of wine and made her way toward the register, she wasn't in the mood for grocery shopping anymore.

"I don't care who's responsible, just fix it." The boy said before hanging up.

"You…" The tan girl growled. "What's up with everyone telling to fix everything, fuck, I'm not Rachel's keeper." She complained out loud.

* * *

An hour later, Santana was opening the door of the loft, ready to go all Lima Heights on Kurt for hanging up on her face. Instead of Kurt, she found Rachel in her room, unpacking one of her boxes. She frowned. "What the…" She removed her jacket and put her purse and groceries on the coffee table before marching toward her room. "And what exactly do you think you're doing?"

Rachel turned around and looked at her with sad eyes. "I…" She stopped. "I don't want you to move out, this is your apartment too."

"So you thought you'd unpack my stuff to make me stay?" Santana wanted to be mad at her for touching her stuff but she couldn't find it in her. The girl looked so upset and almost desperate to make her stay that it was kind of endearing. Wait. What?

"No but…" The diva sighed. "We're a team, the three of us promised each other to stick together to survive the New-York jungle. You can't just leave me… I mean us because we had a few fights…" Her voice cracked.

The Latina sighed. "Are you gonna cry?"

The brunette sniffled. "No…"

"Oh my god, you are." The tan girl shook her head. "You're ridiculous."

Rachel seemed hurt by the comment and opened her mouth to defend herself. "I…"

"Shut it," The raven-haired girl interrupted. "I don't mean it as an insult. Just sit down." She pushed the box away and sat on the bed with Rachel. "You guys need to stop assuming shit and create drama for nothing…"

"But…"

"Let me finish. I'm supposed to see Quinn this weekend, that's why I packed my suitcase." Santana explained. "The boxes are here because you talked my ear off about my stuff lying around and since I don't have a cabinet to put everything in it yet, this seemed the best option."

The diva looked at her through her eyelashes. "So you're not leaving?"

"You might be annoying but I like it here." The Latina assured. "We're this dysfunctional family or whatever. Besides, we made this lame pact and Santana Lopez doesn't break her promises."

Rachel smiled. "Can I hug you?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "Knock yourself out." She fell backward on the bed at the strength of Rachel's embrace. "Okay, okay, don't kill me though…" She patted the girl's back as she half lay on top of her. She tried to relax and hid how laboured her breath was from the proximity.

A few minutes later, Kurt opened the door of the loft and smiled at the view. "I take it you fixed things?"

Santana quickly pulled away and stood up. She had never been so happy to see him.

"Yes, like I always say, communication is the key." Rachel grinned happily.

"I got us some Thai food so if you girls are okay, we can have a movie night." Kurt announced.

The diva clapped excitedly. "What a wonderful idea!" She grabbed Santana's hand and dragged her toward the couch. Even after settling on the couch, Rachel didn't let go of her hand right away.

Santana stared at their linked hands as Rachel talked with Kurt. _'Shit, that's not good._ ' She thought as her heart lurched at the touch.

* * *

That night, Santana couldn't sleep. She kept wondering if her future self had messed with her head or if it was just her realising things. She had gone over everything that happened between her and Rachel for the past few months and she couldn't deny that without realising it, they had grown a lot closer. Rachel had always been affectionate but it was something different and the worst part was that she didn't mind, she had even reciprocate some affectionate gesture late at night when they were watching movies. She had never questioned it so far but now it was all she could think of.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

A/N: Here's the last part. Thank you for the support =).

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

Another week went by and Santana was starting to worry her older self hadn't showed up yet. The weird feeling she had experienced around Rachel hadn't gone away and she really needed to clear some things up with her future self.

Thankfully, Rachel and Kurt had been busy all week so she was able to have some time alone without finding excuses to avoid them.

After an awful noon shift at the diner, Santana came home determined to just relax for the rest of the day. She was supposed to grab a coffee with a colleague but since she couldn't think of anything other than the 'ghost of her future self', she had decided to cancel and just chill at home.

Unfortunately for her, things didn't go as planned. As soon as she opened the door of the loft, she was welcomed by some loud music and the view of Rachel and Jonathan dancing.

"Oh god, no." Santana exclaimed, shrugging off her jacket and throwing her shoes to the side. The last thing she wanted to see was this dude and his disgusting, hardly hidden crush on Rachel.

"Santana! You're early!" Rachel stopped dancing and looked at her friend. "I thought you had plans for the afternoon?"

"Well you thought wrong." The Latina walked toward the kitchen and opened the cabinet to grab some chocolate candy. "I didn't have the best morning so if you could take your mating dance somewhere else, I would appreciate it."

"I'm sorry to hear that but we were supposed to rehearse for two more hours so we can finish…" The diva trailed off.

The tan girl moved back to the living room. "Isn't it finished yet?"

The brunette put her hair to the side. "Oh, hum, it's a new number."

Santana raised her eyebrow. It looked like they were spending more time together again, not that she cared. She turned around and saw the couch and the coffee table had been pushed to the side so they could dance. "What's that?" She asked as she pointed at the furniture.

"We needed more space so we pushed the furniture to the side." Rachel stepped closer.

The Latina rolled her eyes. "I can see that but you're gonna put it back so I can watch tv and relax, okay?" She threw her food on the coffee table and looked at Jonathan. "Hey, Frodo, give me a hand here." She started pushing the couch.

"But it's not enough space." The diva stepped behind the couch and stopped her.

"And I don't care." The tan girl pushed the couch forcefully, forcing Rachel to stumble backward. "I'm sure you two hobbits can figure out how to dance with the space you have."

"This room is for everyone." The brunette stomped her foot. "Santana!"

"Rachel!" The raven-haired girl said in mocking tone.

"It's okay, Rach," Jonathan jumped in when he noticed the tension. "Let's just rehearse what we can over there."

"See, even Frodo agrees." Santana slumped on the couch.

"My name is Jonathan, not Frodo. I would appreciate if…"

"Seriously? Do I look like I care?" The Latina cut him off before turning her head to the side to look at him. "I have razor blades in my hair, dude, so don't start shit you might regret, capice?" She grabbed the remote and a chocolate bar. "B'sides, it's my place, if you're not happy you can leave." How dare he talk to her? God she hated him and no matter what her future self said, it was not because she was jealous. Besides, she had agreed to rehearse with Rachel a few times and they looked way better together.

Rachel huffed. "You're rude and you're infuriating. I don't even know why I put up with you sometimes."

"Same here, princess, same here." Santana turned the tv on and turned up the sound.

The diva growled and dragged Jonathan to the side of the room.

* * *

The apartment quickly turned into a cacophony of sounds and after 15 minutes, Santana was ready to murder someone. She tore her eyes away from the screen and glanced at Rachel. The girl looked so gracious and so focussed, it was almost hypnotic. She grabbed her glass of water and took a sip. She couldn't help but notice the look of contentment the girl had on her face, like she was glowing with joy of doing something she liked. She looked beautiful. Santana choked on her drink as she realised her thought. She coughed and quickly made her way to the bathroom.

She closed the door behind her and splashed some water on her face. "Get a grip, Lopez." She stared at her reflection before looking at the ceiling in hope her future self could hear. "This is all your fault! I was doing fine before you came and now I have all these thoughts and you're just ignoring me!" She shook her head and chuckled humourlessly. "And I'm talking to myself…" She sighed. "Maybe I'm really going crazy."

"I asked myself the same thing about you a few times but I don't think you are right now." Someone said behind her.

Santana jumped with surprise and turned around. She blinked then frowned when she saw Quinn, well an older version of her. "Wh…"

"Yes, yes, I'm Quinn from the future." The blonde rolled her eyes. "You shouldn't make all these faces, you'll have wrinkles soon enough, you don't want to make it worse."

The Latina scoffed. "I see you're as nice as your twin…" She looked at the woman and wondered why she was here. "Wait, why are you here and not me?"

"Santana isn't feeling well." Future Quinn explained. "It looks like the machine gives pretty bad headaches when you're using it too much."

"But I haven't seen her in a while," The tan girl pointed out. "How is that possible?"

The older Quinn snorted. "She's you! Do you really think she wasn't spying on you?" She looked at Santana as if she was a precious little thing. "Anyway, it looks like trying to change the past come with a price…"

"And you stepped in because?"

"First of all, so she could stop whining about it." Future Quinn shook her head. "God, you can be such a pathetic whiny baby sometimes but let me tell you it got worse with the years."

"Hey, if you came here to insult me you…"

"Shhh" The older Quinn cut her off. "As much as I enjoy winning our verbal sparring, I'm not here for that. San was worried about you, well herself." She frowned. "She's right, it's weird. Santana is worry about Santana, but not herself, her younger self…" She mused for a while then cleared her throat. "Anyway, she's starting to forget things…"

"What does that mean?" Santana leaned against the sink.

"It means that, the moments she shared with Rachel, moments where they were getting closer, well, they never happened. Slowly, the memories are disappearing from her mind." Future Quinn developed.

"But how is that possible?" The Latina was more and more confused about the situation.

"Your actions have an impact on the future, it's changing." Older Quinn stated.

"But wasn't that the point?" Santana argued. "I mean, I… my older self came here so I could change the past, or my future, you know what I mean."

Future Quinn nodded. "Yes but change for the better. Right now, it doesn't look like it…"

The tan girl sighed. "So what now?"

"Now you have to ask yourself what you want, what you feel."

Santana puffed some air. "I don't want to feel like there's something just because you put the idea in my head."

"But are you sure of that?" Older Quinn asked.

The Latina looked at the projection confused. "Sure of what?"

Future Quinn rolled her eyes. "Jesus, you're dense sometimes."

"Fuck you!"

"I think there's someone else you'd like to fuck first." Older Quinn smirked.

"F…" The tan girl stopped herself and straightened her position. "You're lucky I can't slap you. Do you have a point?"

"Are you sure it wasn't there before and all we did was speed up the process?" Future Quinn clarified. "It's been a while now, but I remember coming to visit you here. I think it was a month before your older self came to visit but anyway," Future Quinn waved her hand dismissively as if to say it didn't matter. "You looked so happy. You weren't thinking about Brittany, you weren't even checking girls at the club, you were talking and laughing with Rachel without a care in the world. I remember looking at you two while you were making dinner for us, you looked, I don't know, so in synch, not in a friend way, but in a couple-ish way. I don't even think you realise how touchy feely you were with each other, it was like Kurt and I weren't even here. I didn't look too much into it at the time but it made sense when a few months later you ended up with her."

"Wait, I remember that night!" Santana smiled at the memory. "We… Oh…"

Older Quinn arched her eyebrow. "What?"

"I passed out on Rachel's bed and I…" The Latina stopped and cleared her throat to hide her embarrassment. "…woke up cuddling…" She sighed. "It happened a few times after that too actually…"

The future Quinn laughed. "And you still believe there's nothing going on?"

"It doesn't mean anything!" The tan girl insisted.

"It means you're in denial." Older Quinn snapped. "Frankly, what more proof do you need? Yes, it's not love at first sight, it's not the romantic encounter in a park with fireworks, it's just you and Rachel, two people who, once away from the school pressure, were able to discover each other and who just clicked. You got so used to having each other around and relying on the other that you realised…"

Santana made a gagging noise. "Seriously, Q?"

"Oh my god, why do I bother?" The future Quinn raised her hands up in frustration.

"Because you're my friend and you love me." The raven-haired girl answered smugly. "And it applies to the past, to the present and clearly, to the future so..." She heard someone turn the music up in the living room and checked her watch. "Fuck, I've been here for a while, they're gonna find it weird." She quickly put her hair in a ponytail to make it look like she was doing something in the bathroom.

"No, wait!"

"I have to head back!" Santana opened the door without looking back and marched toward the living room. As she reached the couch, she heard a loud thud followed by a yelp of pain. She quickly turned around and saw Rachel on the floor. "What happened?" Her eyes went wide as she rushed to her side. "Rachel, are you okay?"

"I... I didn't have a good grip so at the end of the porté, she fell. But I stopped most of her fall!" Jonathan leaned toward Rachel but Santana pushed him out of the way.

"Are you hurt? Is your foot okay?" Santana kneeled down and inspected Rachel's body for injuries as the conversation with her future self flashed in her mind. What if they had messed up with the time continuity or whatever they called it in the articles she read a few days ago? What if Rachel's injury happened sooner because of that? She remembered the pain in her older self's eyes when she told her the story. Suddenly, she felt bad for forcing them to rehearse in the corner with less space for the choreography.

"I'm okay." The diva reassured as she looked at her sore arm.

"You sure?" The Latina took the girl's head in her hands to check she didn't have any cuts. "Your head is okay. Try to stand." She helped the brunette stand but keep her hand around the girl's waist just in case she lost her balance.

Rachel laughed. "Santana, calm down. I appreciate your concern, trust me, I do but I'm not dying."

Jonathan stepped closer. "Yeah, she didn't fall from that high. Beside I…"

"Dude, shut up!" Santana cut him off. "She could have injured herself and it could have ruined her chance to have a career so don't tell me it's okay, alright." She was feeling so angry, half because of him and half because of herself for what happened. It was like, the thought of Rachel blaming her forever if she was hurt and never talking to her again was terrifying her.

"I…" The boy looked a bit frightened by Santana.

"It's okay, Jon." The brunette smiled reassuringly. "I think we've done enough today, you should go home."

"But…" Jonathan tried.

"You heard her, take your shit and leave." The tan girl insisted.

Rachel who was still leaning against the Latina squeezed her side. "Stop it please." She murmured before turning her attention toward her friend. "Jon, I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay." The man answered downcast. "Get some rest." He grabbed his bag and left.

Santana noticed Rachel rub her arm so she slowly pushed her hand away. She looked at it and saw it was a bit red. "Looks like it's gonna bruise. Just go lay down, I'll get you an ice pack." She walked toward the refrigerator.

"San, I'm fine." The diva insisted.

The Latina sighed. "Could you just go with it for once?" It was like her mind was racing and she couldn't calm down. She needed to make sure Rachel was okay, no matter if the girl kept saying she was. She opened the fridge and grabbed the ice pack.

The brunette grabbed the Latina's hand and forced her to turn around without letting go of her hand. "Are you okay? "

"Yes." The tan girl looked at her confused. "I'm not the one who fell."

"Yet I'm not the one freaking out." Rachel argued gently. She stepped forward and hugged Santana. "I don't know what's happening in your mind right now but I'm okay." She hugged her friend tighter before letting go. "Thank you though."

Santana raised an eyebrow as she handed the ice pack. "For what?"

The diva tip-toed and kissed the Latina's cheek. "For caring." She grabbed the ice pack and made her way toward the bathroom, her touch lingering on Santana's hand.

The raven-haired girl touched her cheek lightly as Rachel walked away. "What was that?"

* * *

Later that night, Santana was on couch watching a movie with Rachel cuddled up against her. She had tried to move away a few times but Rachel kept snuggling closer. After a while, she had simply given up trying. She could go to her room but she didn't want to let the girl out of her sight just yet. She hadn't seen how Rachel fell but the bruise on her arm was enough to keep her anxious. She know it was ridiculous and she could tell Rachel was wondering what was up with her but she kept thinking about what she knew about the future. No matter what she felt, Rachel didn't deserve that fate and her future self either. She thought that, even though New-York wasn't always great and she didn't really know what to do with her life, at least in the future, she'd have everything figured out and would be happy. Guess she was wrong about that too.

"Do you want to watch something else?" Rachel questioned, turning slightly to the side so she could see the girl's face.

"What?" Santana asked as the diva's question stopped her musing.

"You're not paying attention to the movie."

The Latina looked at the screen to remind herself what movie was on. "It's not like we haven't seen it a dozen times." She rolled her eyes.

The brunette opened her mouth to answer but her phone chimed at the same time. She frowned and reached for it. "It's Jon."

The tan girl scoffed. "What does he want? I think he's done enough for today."

"He wants to know if I'm okay." The diva typed a quick message back and put her phone away.

The raven-haired girl shook her head. "If he was a better dancer, he wouldn't have to worry about it."

Rachel slapped her friend's arm playfully. "Santana!" She tried to hide her laugh. "He's not that bad and at least he's happy to dance with me, not like some of my classmates."

"Well they suck. I danced with you and you're a pretty okay dance partner." Santana shrugged.

"Santana Lopez, did you just pay me a compliment?" The diva gasped exuberantly.

"What? No!" The Latina denied. "I think you must have hurt you head earlier after all. You're starting to hear things."

"You liar!" The brunette quickly sat on her knees and grinned. "Admit it!"

"No, seriously Berry." Santana shook her head. "Do you want me to call a doctor?"

"Come on, admit it! Admit it or I tickle you!" Rachel threatened with a devilish smile.

"You better…" The tan girl didn't have the time to finish that Rachel lunged forward and started tickling her.

"I swear to god…" The Latina tried to move away as she started giggling. "Berry, stop…."

"You're not going anywhere until you admit it." The diva moved closer to pin Santana against the couch, practically straddling her. "Admit it." She laughed.

The raven-haired girl giggled and flailed. "Never!" She gathered her strength and pushed the diva away, tackling her to the couch. "I said stop." She said out of breath on top of the girl.

Rachel giggled. "Okay, I stop." She smiled while trying to catch a breath. As silence settled into the room, both girls seemed to realise their position and how close their face were to each other.

Santana glanced at Rachel's lips despite herself and she was sure the diva did the same. The thought made her heart race. "I…"

Suddenly, Kurt slammed open the door of the loft, breaking the spell they seemed to be under. Santana pulled away quickly, almost falling from the couch.

"Hey girls, how was your day?" Kurt asked cheerfully

The Latina looked at Rachel who seemed to be too flustered to speak. She cleared her throat and turned her attention toward Kurt. "I was planning on enjoying my afternoon in peace but Berry was rehearsing with the hobbit, so I guess you could say it wasn't a good day. Anyway, I'm tired, I'm going to bed. Goodnight." As she rushed to her room, she heard Kurt ask what crawled up her ass but Rachel quickly changed topic

She fell face first on her bed and growled in her pillow. "What just happened? Could her older self be right? Did she really have some kind of attraction for Rachel? It was ridiculous; they were just getting along more than she thought they would lately, that was all…

* * *

The next day, Santana agreed to do a double shift at the diner so she could avoid Rachel. What happened last night was more than she could handle right now and as usual, she decided to avoid the problem, hoping Rachel wouldn't try to discuss it. God, of all people it had to be her, it had to be Miss 'I need to express my feelings to properly function' Berry. She was so screwed.

Thankfully, Rachel wasn't home when Santana came back from work. She hung out with Kurt for a while until he had to leave for Adam's. After he left, she decided to just go to bed since she had a long day.

The Latina was settling in bed when she heard the front door open. A few minutes later, she heard Rachel ask if she could come in.

"Yeah." Santana answered, pulling the cover closer to her chest as the diva pushed the curtain to the side and sat on the corner of the bed.

"Hey…" The brunette said almost shyly.

The Latina suddenly felt nervous. She had a bad feeling about why Rachel wanted to talk to her and she was not ready for this conversation right now. "'Sup?" She tried to act nonchalant.

"I saw Jon today…" The petite girl paused and started fiddling with her hands. "He apologized again for dropping me and he said he's going to take extra dance classes so he can get better…"

"Cool." The tan girl answered, not knowing what else to say. She wasn't in the mood to hear about this douche.

"Yes…"

Santana waited for Rachel to continue but it didn't look the girl was about to say something until she replied something. She sighed, she needed to get this over with. "So? That's it? That's what you wanted to tell me?"

"Yes…" Rachel seemed to hesitate. "No…"

The raven-haired girl rolled her eyes. "Oh my god, Rachel, spit it out."

"Jon asked me on a date." The diva blurted out, barely looking at her friend.

"Oh," Santana knew it was coming since her future self had warned her but she wasn't expecting it to annoy her that much. Since Rachel uncharacteristically wasn't giving more details, she asked. "So what did you say?"

The petite girl looked at Santana before quickly looking back at her lap. "That I needed to think about it …"

The raven-haired girl frowned. That was new. From what she gathered, Rachel went on three dates with the guy before her older self started a fight. Did she change the future again?

"You don't have anything to say?" Rachel spoke again, almost accusatory.

Santana arched her eyebrow; she really didn't like her tone. What did she expect? "You're a grown up, you can do whatever you want. I'm not your keeper, Berry."

"Then why are you mad?" The diva locked eyes her. "You usually use unnecessary anger to hide something else…"

The Latina could see there was so much more behind this comment, like Rachel could feel there was more to the situation but was afraid to call it as it was. She scoffed, trying to rein in her rising panic and anger. Since when could Rachel read her so well? "Fuck you, Rachel." She snapped. "Don't try to play Dr Phill, it was a long day and I'm too tired for your shit."

"So you don't care?" The brunette raised her eyebrow.

"No, I don't."

"You don't care that maybe I like someone else and I don't think it's fair to him to start something." Rachel insisted as she crossed her arms.

The tan girl scowled, why did she keep asking? Was she expecting another answer? This girl was ridiculous. "I don't care about his sorry ass and…" She stopped when she realised what the girl said. "Wait, what did you say?"

The diva sighed. "Nothing, nevermind." She stood up from the bed.

"No wait." The raven-haired girl pushed the cover away and sat up on the bed. Did Rachel really say she liked someone else? She was really confused.

"I'm tired," The brunette announced. "And since 'you're too tired for my crap,' like you said, I'll just leave you alone." She pushed the curtain to the side and without looking at the Latina, she said. "Goodnight, Santana."

Santana fell backwards onto her bed. "Shit, this is getting out of hand..." She might not know how she felt about Rachel, but one thing was sure, she didn't want her to date anyone right now.

* * *

The next day, Rachel seemed determined to avoid Santana.

The Latina couldn't believe the diva had asked Kurt for a date night in town and didn't even offer for her to join. It was weird that she wasn't the one doing the avoiding for once… She was pissed to be left out and also kind of hurt, not that she would admit it out loud. When Kurt asked her why she wasn't coming with them, she told him she had better things to do. She knew he didn't believe her but sensing the tension, he finally decided to drop the subject and went out with Rachel.

Since she was alone in the loft, Santana decided to order in and open a bottle of wine. While waiting for a food, she decided to take a bath and relax.

As if her future self had a radar, the woman appeared five minutes after she settled in the bathtub. "Seriously!" Santana exclaimed.

"Am I interrupting?" Older Santana questioned with a raised eyebrow and a smirk on her lips.

"Yes, you could say that." Santana answered annoyed. It was like she couldn't catch a break. "As you can see I'm trying to relax."

Future her snorted. "I think you can masturbate later, we have to talk."

"Hey, I wasn't…"

"Please, I'm you," The future Santana interrupted. "You would have eventually."

Santana scowled. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to know how things are going?"

"Well for once I have news." The bitterness was obvious in Santana's tone. "Rachel's new friend asked her on a date."

"Oh…" Her older self paused, as if she was trying to remember things. "When is she going?" She asked after a moment.

"That's the thing though, she isn't." Santana declared. "At least not yet…"

"What?" Future her looked surprised then hopeful.

"Don't get excited. She tried to talk to me yesterday, but I kind of blew her off." Santana sighed, playing with the bubbles in her bath to not look at the woman in front of her. "I think she likes someone and that's why she doesn't want to date him."

Her future self seemed deep in thought before smiling "It looks like the roles were reversed at some point or something but it think it's good."

"What do you mean?" Santana frowned.

"It sounds like Rachel tried to confess her feelings for you instead of you blurting them out during a fight." The older Santana explained.

Santana scoffed. "That's one of the dumbest things I've heard today."

"You're the dumbest!" Future her snapped. "Why is it so hard for you to believe Rachel is in love with you too?"

"Because! Because…" Santana was trying to come up with something but she couldn't. Since her older self showed up, she had tried to pay attention to how Rachel was with her, and the more she paid attention, the more she noticed the girl was acting quite similar to the way she was around her crushes in the past. Making her food, all the lingering touches and hugs, the constant requests to help her with a dance number or a song even though she didn't need the help, spending most of her free time with her, texting her most of the day or even the blushing… "Oh god…"

"See! I'm always right." Her older self smiled smugly.

"You're me! It should apply to the both of us." Santana pointed out.

"I'm not you, you're me actually, and no, it's doesn't."

"That doesn't make sense!" Santana exclaimed, throwing some water at her older self despite knowing it would pass through her.

Older Santana smirked. "I'm just keeping it real."

"So what now?" Santana grabbed her glass of wine she had brought with her and took a sip. "If my actions changed the course of the events, how can we know what's gonna happen?"

"We don't," Future her admitted. "You just have to embrace it."

"That's the best you have?"

"You're the key here," Her future self reminded her. "Until you're ready to face things, I can't do much…"

Santana sank her body further in the water in despair. "You suck at this guru job!" She closed her eyes.

"And you make an awful protégé." Older Santana answered back. "I should go; you better have some good news when I come back."

"Or what?" Santana asked. When she was met by silence she snapped her eyes open. Her older self was gone. "Great… God, I hate my life…"

* * *

For the rest of the week, it didn't go better with Rachel. It was like the girl had made it her mission to ignore her. At least she hadn't seen Jonathan around so it was a small victory. Not that she cared or anything.

The Latina arrived late for her shift at the diner that evening. She had delayed her departure hoping her future self would visit her and helped but nothing happened. After a while, she knew she couldn't wait anymore and left in a hurry.

Santana was cleaning a table after the rush of the night had slowed down when she noticed a few of her colleagues gathered next to the bar were talking and staring at her. She frowned but decided to ignore it. She moved to another table to clean it when she heard some yelling. She turned around and saw Rachel with a pissed look on her face arguing with two other girls.

Since the Latina was nosey, she moved closer and heard one of the girls say something about not being fair for the other girls and it was not because Gunther had a soft spot for them two that they should take advantage of it. Santana didn't know what it was about but it didn't take a scientist to figure out the girls had a problem with her and probably Rachel.

In a second Santana was marching toward them. "…Because she's a good employee, a good friend and a great singer." She heard the diva say.

"Is there a problem?" The tan girl asked with her bitch face on.

The two girls looked away as Rachel turned toward her. "Well it seems these ladies have a problem with you. I overheard they wanted to complain about you being late earlier so I tried to convince them otherwise. Unfortunately," The diva glared at the two girls. "They seem to think you are granted favours because Gunther likes you and if it's not enough, they said I'm hogging the spotlight because I'm your friend and you asked Gunther to let me."

The tan girl blinked then looked at the girls before burst out laughing. "Seriously?"

The brunette frowned. "That wasn't the reaction I expected."

"I'm sorry but that's hilarious." Santana shook her head and turned toward the two girls. "Listen, I get that it must be hard for you to succeed with your porno star face and that awful, awful nasal voice of yours but you can't blame me for your pathetic lives. If you wanna make some complaints, you should go see your parents and sue them for making you look like this. Jealousy isn't always attractive and let's be real, it's definitely not on you. Yes, I was late but I apologized to Gunther, who gave me an earful for it, so no need to rat. So next time you want to talk shit about me, or Rachel, you better think twice because I'll whoop your fat, chubby asses so hard you'll have a good reason to complain to Gunther. Got it?"

The two girls nodded wide eyed and scrambled away.

"And I have more performances because I have more talent in my pinky than you have in your whole body!" Rachel exclaimed angrily.

"Jeez, chill Berry, don't be such a savage." The Latina joked.

The petite girl chuckled. "You're one to talk; you scarred those two girls for life."

The raven-haired girl smirked. "You know how I roll."

"Sadly yes…" Rachel's face suddenly turned sombre. After a while, she cleared her throat. "I should go back to work."

Santana stared at the diva. She looked hurt and sad. She couldn't believe the girl defended her despite what happened. She could have just ignored them or even been a part of the bitch fest but instead, she had jumped into the conversation and torn them a new one. Suddenly, it made her realise that despite their tension, they had always had each other's back. No matter how hard they fought, they had always cared enough to forgive and move on, especially Rachel. She had pushed the girl away many times but Rachel had always stuck around, even more so in the past 6 months. They had come to rely on each other so much and it happened so naturally. It was like she couldn't remember what it was like to not having Rachel around and frankly she didn't want to know what it would be like without her, without their cooking sessions and movie nights, without hearing her laugh, the way her eyes sparkled when she was happy about something, her warm and comforting hugs or god forbid, her lame jokes. It was true; Rachel had made her way into her heart without her noticing and… "Oh no…"

The brunette turned around. "What? Are you okay?"

"I think I'm going to be sick!" Santana rushed to the bathroom and slammed the door, leaning against it while breathing heavily. "Fuck…" She squeezed her eyes shut. "God, I like her too." She banged her head against the door a few times. "I'm fucked." A couple minutes later, she heard a soft knock on the door.

"Santana, are you okay?" Rachel asked from behind the door.

"Yeah, I'm fine." The Latina took a deep breath. "Go back to work; I'll be there in a minute."

"Okay." The diva answered.

Santana listened to the sound of Rachel's footsteps walking away and sighed. She really needed to see her future self. She needed a plan, some advice or whatever, and she needed them now.

* * *

Santana had to wait two more days for her wish to be answered and this time her older self didn't appear in the bathroom. Things were still awkward with Rachel but since she was working late tonight, the Latina had decided to watch a movie. She had fallen asleep on the couch half way through and when she re-opened her eyes, she found her future self staring at her. She screamed and fell from the couch. "What the fuck?"

"You know, we can't tell people we're from Lima Heights if you scream like a little girl every time you have a little scare."

"A little scare?" Santana exclaimed in a high pitch voice. "Fuck you! You keep showing up out of nowhere! You have the worst timing ever."

"Oh boohoo, you want a hug, princess?" Her future self sneered.

Santana stood up and glared at her. "God, I can't wait till I don't have to see your face again."

The older Santana quickly turned serious. "Well it might happen sooner than you think…"

"What, why?"

"I think Britt's device is dying or something. We've been trying to make it work for a couple of days now…" Her future self explained. "And my headaches are getting worse so Quinn told me I had to slow down, well, told isn't really the word, she threatened to lock me up somewhere until I get enough rest."

Santana sighed. "So does that mean you won't visit anymore?"

"I don't know, I'm not even sure how many more the machine can take…"

"But you can't leave me in this mess!" Santana insisted, pacing around the living-room.

"Come on, you're me," Older Santana declared. "I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"No," Santana almost shouted. "I never asked for this!"

Her future self frowned. "Did something happen?"

"I think…" Santana stopped pacing and looked at her future self. "Dios mio…" She growled before blurting out. "I think I have feelings for Rachel."

Future her blinked. "Seriously?" She smiled. "Fine fuckin finally! You have to tell her."

"I can't…." Santana slouched defeated on the couch.

"Why?"

"Because I just realised it and I'm still confused and oh my god, it's Rachel and…I'm not ready, okay…"

Older Santana shrugged. "Are we ever?"

"Since when are you fucking Buddha?!" Santana scowled annoyed.

Her future self sighed. "I didn't want to use this because it's so lame and so Rachel and gay that you'll want to barf but you don't give me another choice so here it is." She took a deep breath. "If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing. Even if you're scared that it'll cause problems. Even if you're scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud and you go from there."

Santana snorted. "Are you serious?! Are you really quoting me Grey's anatomy right now?"

"Don't pretend we didn't cry when we watched that part but anyway, it's not the point. In the end, it's true and you know that." Older Santana stated. "I regret leaving Rachel, I regret not fighting for her and letting my fears dictate my life instead of trying to communicate. I don't want us to be unhappy because we were too stubborn and immature to face the situation."

Santana stayed silent for a moment, deep in thoughts. "What if despite everything, I fail? What if I we're starting something and later down the road, I still freak out?

"Then you'll just have to remember my warning."

"As if it was that simple…" Santana scoffed. She couldn't believe how much she had changed in the future and yet, how much she was still the same.

"I know it's hard but you just have to trust her. It was only when it was too late that I realised she was good for me, I mean, for us and our heart would have been safe with her if we hadn't broken hers…" Her future self's projection started wavering.

"What's happening?" Santana questioned worried, jumping on her feet.

"There's a problem with the machine." Future her said hurriedly as she started to fade away. "I'll try to come back but if I can't see you again, please don't make the same mistake I did, don't let her go. I promise you, things will get better soon, hold on…"

"No wait!" Santana called but her future self was gone. "How do I tell her?" She murmured as she stared at the place her older self had been.

* * *

After freaking out for almost 30 minutes, Santana decided to get her shit together and just blurt things out just like her future self did. It was late and she was too exhausted to prepare a romantic atmosphere. After all, if Rachel liked her too, she would accept her like she was. They could have a nice date later on.

The Latina grabbed her phone and texted Rachel to ask her when she would be home. The diva answered quickly that she was on her way. "Good!" She said out loud before going to the bathroom to make herself more presentable. She might not have the time to light candles and all that crap but she still had the time to change into nicer clothes and do her makeup.

Half an hour later, Rachel was finally home and Santana was waiting for her on the couch.

"Hey…" The diva put away her stuff and approached tiredly. "You waited for me?"

"Yeah, I wanted to talk…" The Latina stood up and nervously smoothed her skinny jeans.

"Oh, okay." The brunette answered warily. "What do you want to talk about?" She sat on the couch and rested her hands on her lap.

"About what happened between us lately…" The tan girl sat back next to Rachel. She cleared her throat. "I've been thinking about it a lot and I realised we can't continue like this, at least I don't want to…"

"What do you mean?" The petite girl crinkled her nose in confusion. "You…" She seemed to hesitate. "You don't want us to be friends anymore?"

"Not really." Santana saw the flash of hurt in Rachel's eyes and rushed to add. "I mean I want to but with an upgrade."

Rachel frowned deeply. "I don't understand."

"God…" The raven-haired girl sighed, running her hand through her hair. "I'm bad at this…"

"I'm really confused right now." The diva announced. "I know we've been fighting a lot lately but…"

"Wait, don't talk!" The tan girl cut her off. "Let me just get this off my chest and then you can say as much as you want, okay?"

The brunette seemed to analyse the Latina for a while before nodding. "Okay, go ahead."

Santana wiggled nervously before taking a deep breath. "The weirdest things happened to me about a month and half ago. I really thought I was losing it and frankly I'm not completely sure it's not still the case but anyway. I met someone and somehow, they made me realise stuff."

"I didn't know you met someone."

"Rachel, shush." The Latina almost pleaded, afraid she'd lose the courage to speak if the conversation lasted longer.

Rachel pinched her lips. "Sorry." She motioned for the girl to continue.

The tan girl sighed again. "So after they pointed out some things, I started paying attention and I figured out that maybe we wanted the same thing, so hum…" She started wiggling her hands anxiously. "Maybe, I mean…"

"Santana," The petite girl held out her hand to stop the girl. "I'm sorry to interrupt but I don't understand a word you're saying."

"Oh for god's sake," The raven-haired girl exclaimed frustrated before blurting out. "I have feelings for you! There, was that clear enough?"

"Oh…" The diva looked like she was trying to process the news.

Uncomfortable with the silence, Santana continued. "So if you feel the same…" She scratched behind her ear. "I mean, maybe we should." She was interrupted by Rachel's soft lips on her. After getting over the surprise, she quickly kissed the diva back. When they pulled away out of breath, she smiled hopefully. "So?"

"I have feelings for you for a while now…" The brunette confessed. "And I was trying to tell you but you can be so infuriating sometimes and I…"

This time, it was Santana who cut Rachel off with a kiss. Their kisses felt amazing and the Latina didn't want to stop…

* * *

 _A year later …_

Rachel and Santana were cuddling on the couch while watching a movie. When the commercial break started, the diva spoke. "So, Kurt is thinking about moving in with Adam."

"Yeah?" Santana answered absentmindedly as she watched a commercial on a new perfume.

"Yes so I thought, maybe we could redecorate the loft and make it our home." The diva bit her lips. "You know, just for us, as a couple."

The Latina tore her eyes away from the screen and looked at her girlfriend. "Yeah, why not, that could be nice." She smiled. "You don't want to find another place?"

"No. I think we're good here." The brunette declared, snuggling closer. "Maybe in a couple of years when we both have careers, we could search for a bigger place."

"Bigger place?" The tan girl started playing with the diva's hair. It was weird to talk about the future with Rachel. They loved each other but it was still weird sometime to think that all the things they had been through together had brought them here.

"Mmm mmhh." The petite girl hummed in confirmation. "I'm not talking about a house in a suburb, I mean, we're not there yet but something more chic."

Santana stopped playing with her girlfriend's hair and pulled away slightly to look at her. "House in the suburbs?" She hadn't pegged Rachel for a suburban girl, she guessed she still had things to discover about her, not that she minded.

Rachel frowned. "Yes, what's wrong with that?"

"Why would you want to live in the suburbs?"

"I think it's a nice place to live when you're older you know, to start a family." The diva explained.

"Wait, you want kids?" The Latina straightened her position; this conversation wasn't going where she thought it would and she didn't know if she should be worried about it or not.

"Of course!" The brunette crinkled her nose before raising a questioning eyebrow when she noticed the Latina's face. "You don't want children?"

"I… I don't know, I mean I've never thought about it." The tan girl replied. She knew deep down it was lie but she didn't want to admit the truth. She had thought about it but her fear of not finding anyone who would ever love her and who would want to build a family with her somehow pushed these thoughts away. She suddenly felt overwhelmed. "Why are we talking about this anyway?" Her voice sounded colder than intended.

"We are just talking, sweetie, no need to get defensive." Rachel said calmly when she noticed the change in her girlfriend's behaviour.

"Well let's just worry about how we're going to reorganise the loft right now, okay?" The raven-haired girl stated.

"I was just…" The diva frowned then sighed. "Okay…"

"I need a shower, I won't be too long." Santana stood up and walked toward the bathroom as panic slowly crept through her chest.

"But the movie is about to start again." The brunette looked confused.

"You'll fill me in." The Latina answered before closing the door of the bathroom behind her. She sighed heavily. Why was she panicking? They were just talking about the future and the life they'd like to have. She didn't want to push the girl away just because she was scared.

Suddenly, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She frowned and reached for it. It was a text from Britt. She hesitated for a moment to open it but decided to do it.

 **Britt:** ** _'I just showed my new bf one of our favourite episodes of Charmed and he liked the concept of astral projection =). He said it would be cool if it could not only work through space but through time too. Anyway, miss you. Say hey to Rachel ;-).'_**

Santana laughed and shook her head. "Oh Britt, If only you knew…" She smiled and slowly started to relax. This text was a sign, she had no reason to panic. They were good, sure they weren't perfect, they were bickering and all but they were happy and in love. She knew what could happen if she ever let her insecurities take over and she had sworn to herself and her future self, that she would never let it happen again.

The Latina looked around and it was like she had forgotten why she had come into the bathroom in the first place. She wanted to be with Rachel and hold her. She opened the bathroom door and made her way back to the living room. She smiled as she sat next to Rachel, pulling her closer.

"I thought you needed a shower?" Rachel snuggled against her girlfriend's side.

"Yeah but it can wait," Santana declared. "I need to get my cuddles on."

The diva giggled "You're cute…" She caressed the girl's cheek then pecked her lips.

Santana's heart fluttered at the feel of Rachel's touch. "I love you."

Rachel grinned widely. She kissed Santana softly. "I love you too."


End file.
